Look Ma, I'm in a Movie

I spent a relatively restful day -- even though it started a little funky in that some dude with an even greater prima donna vibe than me (and yes this is not only possible but, in this case, SO OBVIOUS) played skeptic reporter and I made the executive on the spot decision (paraphrased, it goes sorta like this -- "Fuck ya") to end that conversation EARLY . . .

Did a bunch of readings (7 of them !!) the past 2 days -- and have 2 still left to do later this evening. I find now that my "inner speed" has picked up A LOT and I am finding that if I am not in the midst of some social whirlwind movie cameras in my face energy "then, hell, Myrtle, life ain't worth livin' . . . "

SOOOOOOOOO different . . . I had to turn down a paying gig on Friday, a paying gig in NY on Friday !! -- and a music video (that, conceptually, sounded intriguing) north of LA yesterday (as well as another software training contract) and it made me sad, I wanted to do EVERYTHING . . . I really do like doing this and I intend to do more of it.

VERY interesting turn of events, I think . . . and so, here is my quick recap of the first 2 plus weeks of my "career" as a professional actor -- and yeppers I've been paid so I AM a pro :)

1. Acting -- and actors -- ROCK . . . this also applies to directors and crew, too. In spite of the profile of neurotic self-absorbed megalomaniacs that accompanies many actors, so far I have found them all pretty chill. I am not sure if that is because lately I am a sooooooooo high energy that no one could match it or not, but my affection for actors and movie makers is high -- and growing with each movie I work on.

2. Social things -- once again -- MATTER to me so the likelihood of me dating and actually leaving the house after sun down is growing as well. I could never fully be myself when I was a Management Consultant (had to hide the "liberal New Agey Andy") nor really as a psychic either (where I had to hide the "competitive, fiery Andy").

Somehow acting seems to work though. I find, again in some crazy way, that I am feeling more "me" since I opened myself up to the idea of being an actor -- and that idea only really took root in my mind Monday (after wrapping my 2 days as background in "That Ole Devil Called Love") . . . the actors on this film were professionals, SAG members, and I picked their brains and started opening myself up to the idea that perhaps I, too, could do this.

3. When I was young (in my 20's) I acted some and I was always cast as the neurotic pretty boy -- a theme? Now I am more solid -- a cop, FBI agent, a Marine Colonel . . . that kind of vibe. More "manly" -- and I don't think this is ONLY because 30 years ago I had LONG HAIR and now I have NO HAIR. Something else is going on . . .

I feel "alive" now, more alive than I have felt since Lehna died in March, 2006. It has been 4 years since she died, 3 years since my finances CHANGED, 2 years since I lost my house in the East Bay. A painful time, indeed.

I don't know if I will be a successful actor or a TV psychic or anything else but I do know this. Now I feel as if I can be both artist AND psychic at the same time. And THAT . . . makes me happy :)