Love and Fear and all THAT

It is by opening again to love that I open once again to everything else. All I used to have (and more) will come back to me now that I have worked through this terrible fear -- the fear that you could love so much that losing it would, literally, kill you.

I was never like this before my darling baby Lehna died and it has taken me quite a while to come back (almost 5 years). But the lesson I've learned is this -- to deny love because you're afraid is to be a member of the walking dead. Love (for me and I expect for others, too) is LIFE :)

I am thankful for so much . . . but it is my ability once more to love, without fear, that has re-awakened me. I have lived flat out in many ways, a high wire act with a flimsy net but, still, all that was done with a closed heart. I was daring life, really, to just take me. Just . . . fucking . . . take . . . me.

I was daring it . . . and now -- I have stopped taking, and issuing, that dare.

Love heals. That I know; that is what the past 5 years has taught me.