The "Lonely Ones"

All gifts come with a price, the bigger the gift, the bigger the price, and there is a reason psychics are called "the lonely ones". It is very difficult to find a partner who can hang with you "knowing things", who can ride out that you can tell in seconds if a mood shifts . . . too often you become the therapist or the final stop on the "well, what's gonna happen now" gravy train. This is not the optimal formula for long-term romance.

For me, this strange gift came with an unusual bonus (or curse) twenty years past in that "potential relationships" were everywhere, literally, but they were more likely than not potentially dead ends since many of the women attracted to the handsome little clairvoyant were, deep down, too damaged themselves to have a "real relationship" and so, early on, I made the understandable choice to avoid them all as much as possible.

Of course, this was not all the "fault" of the women . . . psychics are also often there because they are damaged themselves and it takes a while to wrestle all these visions and voices into a coherent manageable pattern. So, in actuality, I was magnetizing the very dysfunction I was trying so desperately to rise above myself.

I have been doing readings long enough to know that, early on, people will turn love down for money and fame a million times but ultimately, at the end, it is lack of love that people feel most and all the money and adulation mean nothing if there is no one to love, no one to love you back . . . I have walked a winding road these past 55 years, not a trail most would walk but over these many long nights I have held in my mind's eye the idea -- and expectation -- that, one day, I would "figure it out", that I would find love and, when I found it, I knew it could only work if I had first found, and maintained, a way to love myself. I can't love another if I can't love myself.

That's what kills most relationships, you know -- the inability to love and forgive oneself. I have cursed fate a million times but today, with this new and totally different love in my heart, I feel (finally) at peace.

It is my belief that just as I have found (or been discovered by) a beautiful fellow soul traveler, it is also a sign (to myself) that if I can attract the love of such a special soul then perhaps I am not so bad myself . . . love heals and I love a woman who is by profession, and divine gift, a healer, herself.

I wish all of you the feeling I feel this very day . . . because lovers don't know fear -- another killer of romance, the fear that it will be taken away, that someone better, "more worthy", will come along.

But I am in love and so, by my own definition, I am fearless. The sky is blue and the birds are singing in this beautiful new world and I hope you find a way to join us. I found it when I was young but because I "saw things" others didn't, I took a different path and lost it; it is taken me a long time to follow that path and since this was a trail with few maps and fewer still who could walk with me, I thought I might never find love again but if I can, so, too can you. I wish you good tidings on your travels. No matter how long the trip, it is a beautiful feast once you arrive. I hope you find your way, back to the love of a special fellow soul but especially a love for yourself.

Truly, I wish this for you, all. I do -- I wish you love :)