Karmic Outlaw (Excerpt # 3)

During the Spring of 2010, recruiters were once again jamming my email -- not knowing I am (at least in the corporate world, anyway) damaged goods, toxic, dangerous -- (1) a whistleblower against Kaiser Permanente, (2) a "celebrity psychic" and (3) a political hellion -- the wild child trifecta . . . but I enjoyed their little notes nonetheless.

I will admit, though -- there are times when I do fantasize a bit about conference rooms and fancy shoes but, evidently . . . God had other plans. I really believe there is a "guiding hand", though, driving many of the events in our lives and I also believe that our "past lives" play a big part in how that hand is ultimately "dealt". So adios conference rooms -- although I do still have some badass Italian footwear, souvenirs from a more prosperous time. But, no matter . . .

I think it is interesting how many times I’ve looked in to the "past life" hamper and pulled out all these very high-level military lifetimes. Not privates carting a rifle around fantasizing about getting back to the farm but Generals and Princes and even Kings -- crazy but true. It is what I see and continue to see.

The first "psychic" I ever visited was at a psychic fair in the Cow Palace (perhaps, why I now channel the cow?) in San Francisco in 1979. I was a 24 year old pretty boy jock and the last thing I wanted was to be a psychic but this was the beginning of my "psychic awakening" and when it came, it came like a hurricane. But that hurricane was still a few months in the "future". This was just part of the gathering winds . . .

I was curious about past lives and asked him why I kept having these strange reactions to old Victorian homes. He told me I was a woman in Victorian times, that my husband did everything he could to try to please me but that I was perhaps a bit of a diva and gave the poor boy a bit of a hard time.

Say what?

The funkiometer began to read "High" pretty quickly because he looked right at me and said "your life is going to be hard".

Great . . . thanks!

"You were a King, many times, and so it is going to be hard for you this time round."

No doubt . . . but the funkiometer was still just revving up. He said "you'll soon be doing what I do. Very soon, in fact."

Uh huh . . .

"You'll be able to see what we see." I talked to him a bit longer, truthfully in kind of a daze and when the reading was over his wife came over to me and started talking to me. "Oh you can do what we do."

No -- I can't. She was insistent and now 31 years later, I realize she was right.

A couple of months after that I took a past life regression class in San Francisco. That night when I went home I could regress myself, I was a "natural" at it and everything in my life changed -- that day.

But in class earlier that night I volunteered to be the first one to do the regression, the guinea pig because I was sooooo anxious to see. I wanted, no "needed", to "know" . . . and what was I in this regression?

A King.

Who knows . . . I always try to reconcile how these skills, these past life "themes" fit in to the "grand plan" as well as the day to day of our lives. Well I hate it but there ain't no kingdom any more . . . still as I grow older I begin to believe more and more in the validity of that line of thinking, about who or what "I was".

After shooting wrapped, I did a past life regression for some of the other actors in a film I worked in and one of the girls, a breathtakingly beautiful young woman, had a past life memory as a soldier and I told her it was the way I saw her, too -- VERY male energy, very strong military vibe.

Breathtakingly beautiful . . . just what most little boys think a girl should be but when I looked at her I saw a long line of badass soldiers trailing along behind her and, amazingly, it was something she identified with; she even seemed empowered by the knowledge of it. It is amazing what I see . . . how these karmic "themes" work.

Which raises sort of an in-ter-est-ing question, I think. In many of my lives, I’ve had a very definite badass kind of energy, myself, a killer . . . and so as I wade through the karmic waters, I can't help but feel there's something poetic about it all -- a political outlaw, in addition to being a religious heretic. A rope around the neck or a fire beneath my feet -- truthfully, neither one sounds too good.

A guiding hand; leading . . .

"Luck is a word devoid of sense. Nothing can exist without a cause."
- Voltaire (Francois-Marie Arouet), French author, wit and philosopher (1694-1778)