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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Proust Questionnaire

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

A Peaceful life, a loving relationship with one very special woman, health / athleticism, art and books, my daughter Riana, a nice comfortable place to live with my family, happy thoughts with my daughter and partner and friends

2. What is your greatest fear?

To be ordinary

3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Erik Jan Hanussen

4. Which living person do you most admire?

Nikki Giovanni

5. what is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Laziness / absent-mindedness

6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

cruelty

7. What is your greatest extravagance?

books

8. On what occasions do you lie?

when I don't want to go somewhere :)

9. What do you dislike most about your appearance?

lack of hair

10. When and where were you happiest?

when Riana was a tiny baby -- but more than anything the times I spent with her

11. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

more determined and focused

12. If you could change one thing about your family what would it be?

hahahahahahahahhahahahahaha

13. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

My work as a clairvoyant

14. If you died and came back as a person or thing what do you think it would be?

another clairvoyant

15. What is your most treasured possession?

Lehna's diaper

16. What do you regard as the lowest depths of misery?

when Lehna died

17. Who are your heroes in real life?

Nikki Giovanni, Norman Mailer, Sandy Koufax, Helen Keller, Nostradamus

18. What is it that you most dislike?

cruelty and arrogance

19. How would you like to die?

at home surrounded by people I love

20. What is your motto?

"flat out" -- also: "a champion is one who gets up when he can't"

Monday, October 4, 2010

The "Lonely Ones"

All gifts come with a price, the bigger the gift, the bigger the price, and there is a reason psychics are called "the lonely ones". It is very difficult to find a partner who can hang with you "knowing things", who can ride out that you can tell in seconds if a mood shifts . . . too often you become the therapist or the final stop on the "well, what's gonna happen now" gravy train. This is not the optimal formula for long-term romance.

For me, this strange gift came with an unusual bonus (or curse) twenty years past in that "potential relationships" were everywhere, literally, but they were more likely than not potentially dead ends since many of the women attracted to the handsome little clairvoyant were, deep down, too damaged themselves to have a "real relationship" and so, early on, I made the understandable choice to avoid them all as much as possible.

Of course, this was not all the "fault" of the women . . . psychics are also often there because they are damaged themselves and it takes a while to wrestle all these visions and voices into a coherent manageable pattern. So, in actuality, I was magnetizing the very dysfunction I was trying so desperately to rise above myself.

I have been doing readings long enough to know that, early on, people will turn love down for money and fame a million times but ultimately, at the end, it is lack of love that people feel most and all the money and adulation mean nothing if there is no one to love, no one to love you back . . . I have walked a winding road these past 55 years, not a trail most would walk but over these many long nights I have held in my mind's eye the idea -- and expectation -- that, one day, I would "figure it out", that I would find love and, when I found it, I knew it could only work if I had first found, and maintained, a way to love myself. I can't love another if I can't love myself.

That's what kills most relationships, you know -- the inability to love and forgive oneself. I have cursed fate a million times but today, with this new and totally different love in my heart, I feel (finally) at peace.

It is my belief that just as I have found (or been discovered by) a beautiful fellow soul traveler, it is also a sign (to myself) that if I can attract the love of such a special soul then perhaps I am not so bad myself . . . love heals and I love a woman who is by profession, and divine gift, a healer, herself.

I wish all of you the feeling I feel this very day . . . because lovers don't know fear -- another killer of romance, the fear that it will be taken away, that someone better, "more worthy", will come along.

But I am in love and so, by my own definition, I am fearless. The sky is blue and the birds are singing in this beautiful new world and I hope you find a way to join us. I found it when I was young but because I "saw things" others didn't, I took a different path and lost it; it is taken me a long time to follow that path and since this was a trail with few maps and fewer still who could walk with me, I thought I might never find love again but if I can, so, too can you. I wish you good tidings on your travels. No matter how long the trip, it is a beautiful feast once you arrive. I hope you find your way, back to the love of a special fellow soul but especially a love for yourself.

Truly, I wish this for you, all. I do -- I wish you love :)

Predictions

Over the past 4 years (since I "came out" again as a psychic) I have felt that I couldn't (in good conscience) NOT talk about what I saw on the horizon with the United States economy. Part of my vision was purely analytical, but most of it was a clairoyant recognition that many factors were coming together that suggested BIG -- and also very negative -- changes were on the way that, to most, were "impossible" to imagine.

As psychics, we very often do, in fact, talk about "impossible" things that later prove to be quite possible. So, my "warnings" -- because I looked at them as just that -- were done from this context. IF these things DO happen, then it will not only play havoc with people's financial lives, on a more subtle (but also more damaging long-term) level it will "fuck with their heads".

As "lightworkers", it is our responsibility (I think) to be conscious of the state of mind of those around us. I won't answer your question "yes or no" with just a yes or no -- I want to look at what's behind the question. Probably most people think it is because I like to listen to myself talk hahahaha, but the real reason is that I want to get down to the root cause, so clients will have a better perspective on the cycle . . . if this happened now, why -- and, more importantly, what can I do to change this going forward?

So, I knew that if what I saw actually did come to pass then the collective "angst-o-meter" would be pretty high. I wanted people to be aware that this was coming, especially other psychics so they could deal with it themselves in order to better help those around them later on, who would surely be struggling and frightened. Hopefully, some listened and were able to make the adjustments necessary in order to stay in a positive frame of mind, no matter what was happenng around them short-term.

I feel as if the general energetic trend is now turning a corner. I have talked about this for the past year as something that I felt WOULD happen but now I feel that it IS going to be happening very soon. Hallelujah.

I talked, A LOT, about "2012 Consciousness" kicking in between May and October of 2010. I felt that this period would be the cleansing period -- not 2012, which I see as actually sort of a positive time. I am going to be in the minority then, too, saying happy days are coming when everyone will be storing cans and building bunkers in the back yard. I know it -- and so do most of you.

But the darkness is passing. It is a time of renewal. I feel that I am in a very positive space now, too -- I talked about these problems when nobody wanted to hear about them, and gave very concrete steps for dealing with them, as well, which, again, few could comprehend -- so, as a result, I have accrued a lot of "street cred" as BOTH seer and advocate for change.

Talking about all this "stuff" made my life more difficult at the time but it gives me an added power boost going forward. Since I talked about all this when few would, or could, if I now begin saying what people WANT to hear -- with the track record I have -- then I think it fair to say that my life is likely to improve quite dramatically, too.

Bottom line: I think better days are ahead :)

Business and Intuition

While the economy was imploding and housing prices were falling so dramatically, I took some time to drop out of the world and have my "inner time". I kept the house in Antiioch for a couple of years longer than I should have and let the money drip drip away but I looked at it as "my monastery"and it was comfortable to me in that context.

I think soon the world will begin to rebound. This is good. As a result, I am also starting to rebound, and am returning once again to the world that once brought me money and toys, and afforded me the luxury of living in a beautiful home for several years even after I stopped working -- the world of business. Not in the same capacity as before but my mind is open to "business" once again as a viable force.

For the past few years I would not allow myself to "touch it" -- as I felt it was, on many levels, "unclean". But I remember how it's done and over the past few months I have drawn into my own personal universe many people who have helped re-awaken that drive to "do" and whose work, integrating business and intuition, I admire.

One of those people is Patti Keating -- http://www.pattikeating.com/ . I am attending one of her "Business Breakthrough Bootcamps" and it is wonderful.

Another friend is Wendy Franklin Muhammad, "The Authenticity Coach" -- http://www.theauthenticyouonline.com/ . Wendy and I have done radio shows together several times over the past few years and I have a tremendous respect for her. She's great !!

Harmony Harrison -- http://www.intuitopia.com/ is another brilliant, intuitive soul who has come in to my world. She offers a unique perspective on integrating business and intuition and I think she is amazing. Honestly, I do :)

And then, there is Scott Grossberg -- http://www.thinkingmagically.com/ . What, really, can I say -- other than I think he is brilliant and fantastic and I love his work, and him, too.

I may soon be "shifting" more and more in to a world where the integration of business and creativity and intuition merge. I have avoided it for a long time, but I am feeling the pull. The friends I have listed above, though, are already there :)

I am feeling all these happy accidents happening around me (and yes my rep as a "wizard" / manifester supreme is, I think, actually sort of justified) . . . and I am opening myself up to finally reeling all the pieces/parts in to a new, more fully integrated whole.



I want to thank all of my friends who have shared this amazing journey from Lehna's death back to the place I stand now. I know stuff . . . both about intuition and creativity as well as more practical how does that work in the world of commerce stuff, too.

I have "healed", too (I think) my "hatred" of business, 'cause there is no other way really to say it. Business broke my heart, because a bottom line approach by a hospital led to the death of my child . . . it has taken me a long time to heal -- not only to heal from the loss of my daughter (that is still happening) but also my hatred and disgust with the corporate world.

I miss it though and I feel as if now I have the mind set to fully embrace it once again, only this time while concurrently walking in the light of my work (and name) as an intuitive -- something I didn't know how to do before. I finally see them as peacefully co-existing. I wanted desparately for this day to come. It IS a happy day, indeed.

"The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by somebody else's rules, while quietly playing by your own". -- Michael Korda